Confession-

As Josh and I talk about the future and our kids (to-be) I kinda feel like I will never birth again. This is not all that sad for me expect that I want to BIRTH again. Not be pregnant and really not even have a baby (we are looking at adopting a little older like 6 months to a year or something). I just want to give birth... I want to do it at home WITHOUT an epi. I have no problem with women who choose to get one but it was not what I wanted. I would give anything to do it over again, KINDA OF. The Lord grace is so sweet... if I had it my way I would have done a water birth, well C's cord was in a knot which means he would have drowned during the birth. So the Lord is sweet and for that I am grateful and without complaint. I just want to birth a baby the way I see it right. I tell all my friends to do it and yet I have not. I find myself looking at blogs and fb to see someones birth story, to see if they did it. It is not what defines me and I need to realize it does not matter. C is great, I am great and we are all happy and 3 months away from one year!! I had to type it out and confess. I hate my birth story but I am a mom, a wife and most importantly a Christian. Natural birth is not a label that should be on top of my list.